Tuesday, May 06, 2008


Life is stressful right now. Adding a third child to the mix has made my life crazy. And I feel very frazzled by the end of the day. Life seemed "better" last week but now it just seems difficult. I can feel my blood pressure rising at different points during the day, usually when all 3 are screaming or whining about something that must be done right now. I learned how to adjust and be calm amidst this storm when transitioning from one to two kids so I know it will take time.

In the meantime though I feel overwhelmed and as a result I'm yelling a lot at the kids and I don't like it at all. I'm very conscious about giving them cuddle time, engaging them with questions when I can and touching them as much as I can so they know I love them but nonetheless I'm still yelling.

Although Baby J is doing pretty good with his sleeping habits the Hub and I are still reeling from the schedule change and managing on limited sleep. Also, I'm finding I'm pretty stressed out about how to feed Baby J, as my friends can attest too. I've been breast pumping for almost a month and nursing periodically. Baby J has not latched on well and I've experienced pain. Yesterday I made a decision that I will not continue to pump. I can't stand it and it's very stressful huddling the other kids upstairs every 3 hours and then all the cleaning of supplies it's just worn on me.

In turn I will latch the baby on as much as i can and deal with the pain. Overall he's latching on mostly fine and he's almost 4 weeks so maybe this could work out so it seems- I did however just pop a blister on my nipple about an hour ago...sadly. I'm going to give this a week or so and see if the pain lessens. If the pain doesn't go away and actually gets worse I think I'll stop. The inability to nurse well has contributed to the stress that I feel and although I'll be sad to stop I think for my own sanity and for my family's sanity I'll need to move on.

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