Thursday, April 16, 2009


Artie has come out of hiding! And a ton of other things.


The kids are lovin Artie. I'm so glad they dig drawing and painting.

Come out of hiding...oh yes I started unloading the storage sheds this past weekend. My house is now packed to the gills with stuff. I'm fighting a cold still, dealing with some personal issues that are draining and also watching my 2 nephews this week (except today) so I'm feeling a bit tired. I've had mad vision about all that I want to do but not much time, energy or opportunity. But what I have got to do this week is spend some fun time with my nephews.

My sister, a single mom, is in school from 9:30-1:30 monday thru friday right now. I took the boys, Eric 12 & Jonathan 8, for spring break. My sister and I have a somewhat rocky relationship and so I have not had much of an opportunity to spend as much time with the boys as I would have liked sadly. But this week I've got to talk to them about spending more time together and they said they would like that. I need to figure out how to incorporate it into my life but we are really just going to think of them as our kids. I'm thinking I'll pick them up once a week after school and bring them to our house and we'll all play and take walks or play outside and then they'll eat dinner with us and be taken home afterwards. Maybe once a month we'll have them spend the night.We're even thinking how we can perhaps take them on vacations with us periodically (we don't go but once ever couple of years but they've never been!)

My sister and I are complete opposites, I'm not kidding. My dad use to tell people we're like the colors black and white, completely different. But I love her and I've tried to keep in touch with her but at some point she didn't want that anymore. I have a lot of compassion for her and her sons which is mostly what has driven me to pursue them over the years. She was married at one point and the guy took off and basically started a new family with someone else. The boys know this, sadly. And of course I'm sure come the questions and conclusions mostly unspoken, "My dad doesn't love me anymore, he has new sons." It makes me cry just to type this because once again the pain in this world is...

At any rate, I hope to include more stories about our day to day activities with my nephews in them. And I desperately hope us pursuing them and loving them in this way will effect them in the long run.

As a teen I had a tumultuous relationship with my parents. At one point the city appointed two social workers to come and take me out once a week. We'd go to cofee shops usually but they'd also take me out to lunch or whatever. What I remembered the most about them is that they asked me questions and listened to me. They wanted to know about me. They taught me that there are people that really care about my likes and dislikes and just want to get to know me. They were so instrumental in my life.

I hope in some way that my little family has that effect on the boys, God I hope so and that is my prayer.

Btw, my parents and I are reconciled and we are close. I love them dearly but I personally had to resolve a lot of "things" for myself before I could get to the point of forgiving and acceptance. Just needed to throw that out there. And thanks for listening to my verbal ramblings about what's on my mind.


Tony said...

Just so you and J are an awesome couple for doing this! There aren't many people in this world that would tackle this and be as determined as you are! I repeat you guys are AWESOME!

Momma Bear said...

thanks Tony i appreciate that. I don't anticipate it to be easy. Like this week I had to discipline one of them and it killed me. But I love them too much to let disrespect slide and that was the issue. Hope that made sense.
I'm thinking we'll take it one day at a time. But everyone needs consistent love especially when their life is so up & down. My parents are doing a good job at loving them but the responsibility shouldn't fall entirely on them.
I am a huge believer in, "it takes a village to raise a kid!"
Hope you are good dude! When I get my house a bit more settled you'll have to come to dinner soon!

Banteringblonde said...

You are a good auntie and those boys are blessed to have you.

Jenni said...

wow, that is some complicated stuff! I think it's great you can help your sister out while also getting closer to your nephews. Sounds like it is catartic for all of you.

Kelly said...

I'm praying for a lot of blessings to come from the closeness that I know will develop between your nephews and your family. What a blessing you already are to your sister. My sister and I were not very close for a number of years - we were leading opposite lives - but we're finally back on track. She's an amazing person who's completely turn her life around after making a lot of negative choices. Just incredible. I pray for your sister - what a horrible situation her husband left her in.

P.S. Love your momma Easter basket!