Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Life and Poop

Since the Huz has been gone, I've barely been getting sleep. This must be what it's like to be a single parent, obviously only a small part. I feel like I've been running around constantly, making breakfast, snacks, lunch, I'm in the kitchen a lot right now-way more than usual. Working my tail off more than usual and if you look at my house it's as if I've done nothing! Very frustrating. I'm gonna throw in the towel...I'm just kidding.

Called the Huz and he schmoozing it up down in Baltimore. Just kidding he's not a schmoozer in any way. But he is having fun and it seems he's been offered a teaching position which is great. What this means though is that he'll be gone a few weeks a year teaching a week long class in another city. Pretty cool and a privilege for him and as the kids get older it will be fun to accompany him along the way and tour different cities. We shall see how all of that unfolds but for now, I'm excited for him. I'm trying not to think of the week long Huz absence every other month or more...paying off debt is my focus. I'll have to keep that right up there in the forefront of my mind and recite it over and over when all three kids are screaming at me and lil peeps are peeing on the rug (or pooping...like yesterday.)

Pooping....ah yes. So I had to go to the pot yesterday. I turn the corner into the bathroom and I see little feet dangling. W was hanging out on there waiting for some action. Well I let him know,

"Momma's gotta go, You almost done?!"

W says, "It's not coming out mom, it keeps going back in!"

Me, "Well babe can you hold it for a sec while I go?"

W, "okay." I lift him off the throne and stand him next to me as we switch places. Everything is right in the world for a second.

W, "MOMMA IT'S STARTING TO COME OUT!!!"

Me, "CRAP!" W bends over to show me how it's coming out...thanks for that one babe. It wasn't quite coming out yet. I'm not sure what I was thinking but it sounded good in that moment and I kind of didn't care...I ask him,

"Okay honey do you think you can hold it in for a few seconds while you run downstairs and grab a diaper?" (all of this to a 4 year old.)

W, "Okay!" A few minutes past and so I yell down. About the same time I hear, "NOOOO!" and then "The diaper dropped my poop!" I quickly run downstairs naked butt and all, I am fully aware of my classyness, just in time to see Baby J stick his hand in a big nasty crap ball. I scream, "NO!" as if that would matter and then put the wrist of his poop hand in a death grip. With the other hand I grab the diaper from "The pooper" and swiftly grab the poop ball with the dipe. It gets disposed of and I manage to get Baby J's hand replaced with a fresh new one. Oh I forgot to mention that all of this seriously took place between 8:30-8:55am. I'm supposed to be on the other side of town to pick up my nephews at 9:00am. See again same poop schedule.

I manage to get us all in the van at 9am and seriously high tail it out east and arrive in 6 minutes-superhero powers. I bring the boys back and my oldest nephew, E sits down on the couch. I head for the kitchen, surprise surprise, and I hear E say, "YUCK!" I run in and he holds up this little rubber ball that's covered in poop. He says, "This has dookie on it!!" At that point I just started cracking up laughing.

11 comments:

Manic Mother said...

lol, thanks for the laugh...I have so been there!

Rachel said...

Okay, I think my poop threshold has been crossed. I can only take so much poop in one post, you know! ;)

Just Breathe said...

OMG, that is so funny. I actually read it without gagging. I don't miss those days.

Momma Bear said...

i hear ya rachel, my poop threshold has seriously been breached.

Jenni said...

that's an awful lot of poop before 9am.

Kristin said...

great story :)

erin fry said...

you seriously need to add a half bath on the main floor especially since you're all on the same poop schedule. ;)

Momma Bear said...

Erin,
I was totally thinking that last night and trying to figure out how to go about it. I just got a quote on it, which was reasonable. But we have a few immediate debts that paid off. I'll probably attempt to revisit this idea in early fall.

:)

erin fry said...

where would you put it? maybe the laundry room? and that's by the back door, so less tracking dirt/mud through the house to go to the bathroom!

Momma Bear said...

yes the quote was for it to go into the laundry room. It would be a small vanity and a toilet, smaller than your half bath. But functional.

erin fry said...

i'm so smart. =)
thas all ya need!