Life and Poop

Since the Huz has been gone, I've barely been getting sleep. This must be what it's like to be a single parent, obviously only a small part. I feel like I've been running around constantly, making breakfast, snacks, lunch, I'm in the kitchen a lot right now-way more than usual. Working my tail off more than usual and if you look at my house it's as if I've done nothing! Very frustrating. I'm gonna throw in the towel...I'm just kidding.

Called the Huz and he schmoozing it up down in Baltimore. Just kidding he's not a schmoozer in any way. But he is having fun and it seems he's been offered a teaching position which is great. What this means though is that he'll be gone a few weeks a year teaching a week long class in another city. Pretty cool and a privilege for him and as the kids get older it will be fun to accompany him along the way and tour different cities. We shall see how all of that unfolds but for now, I'm excited for him. I'm trying not to think of the week long Huz absence every other month or more...paying off debt is my focus. I'll have to keep that right up there in the forefront of my mind and recite it over and over when all three kids are screaming at me and lil peeps are peeing on the rug (or pooping...like yesterday.)

Pooping....ah yes. So I had to go to the pot yesterday. I turn the corner into the bathroom and I see little feet dangling. W was hanging out on there waiting for some action. Well I let him know,

"Momma's gotta go, You almost done?!"

W says, "It's not coming out mom, it keeps going back in!"

Me, "Well babe can you hold it for a sec while I go?"

W, "okay." I lift him off the throne and stand him next to me as we switch places. Everything is right in the world for a second.

W, "MOMMA IT'S STARTING TO COME OUT!!!"

Me, "CRAP!" W bends over to show me how it's coming out...thanks for that one babe. It wasn't quite coming out yet. I'm not sure what I was thinking but it sounded good in that moment and I kind of didn't care...I ask him,

"Okay honey do you think you can hold it in for a few seconds while you run downstairs and grab a diaper?" (all of this to a 4 year old.)

W, "Okay!" A few minutes past and so I yell down. About the same time I hear, "NOOOO!" and then "The diaper dropped my poop!" I quickly run downstairs naked butt and all, I am fully aware of my classyness, just in time to see Baby J stick his hand in a big nasty crap ball. I scream, "NO!" as if that would matter and then put the wrist of his poop hand in a death grip. With the other hand I grab the diaper from "The pooper" and swiftly grab the poop ball with the dipe. It gets disposed of and I manage to get Baby J's hand replaced with a fresh new one. Oh I forgot to mention that all of this seriously took place between 8:30-8:55am. I'm supposed to be on the other side of town to pick up my nephews at 9:00am. See again same poop schedule.

I manage to get us all in the van at 9am and seriously high tail it out east and arrive in 6 minutes-superhero powers. I bring the boys back and my oldest nephew, E sits down on the couch. I head for the kitchen, surprise surprise, and I hear E say, "YUCK!" I run in and he holds up this little rubber ball that's covered in poop. He says, "This has dookie on it!!" At that point I just started cracking up laughing.

What The Freak?

Warning-TMI Post about poop...turn around now.


I' have just been reminded that my daughter and I are definitely still on the same poop schedule. While doing my bizness upstairs she decided to take her dipe off downstairs. I come downstairs, after I dropped the other kids off at the pool, and I see my dear daughter is naked on the couch-I also smell poop. I go to the kitchen to see if she made a deposit in the potty and Yay she did! I walk in and say, "yay babe you did it again, great job!" But she then points to her baby brother on the floor who has just stuck his little index finger in another smaller pile. I reach him just after he sticks it in the pie hole. LITTLE DUDE WTF! Poop-1, Momma-0. I have nothing else to say.

More Poop

What's up with kids and poop? Why do they think it's so cool??

I awoke this morning to find (yet again) a naked 2 & 3 year old running amuck in poop! They pulled off a doorknob, that wasn't fully attached, and stuck it in poop and then used it as a stamp to make circular stamp patterns all over the carpet. Yeah okay so they're creative and perhaps we have the making of a couple of future scrapbookers with their stamping talents but I wasn't too thrilled. Off to clean up poop and more poop.

Poop

I stepped on poop with my bare foot. My darling daughter decided to take her dipe off for the second time this morning and fling it in the laundry room. As I was looking for it I put my foot down onto some flung poop. I then caught her as I was stepping in her sh$% jumping on the couch with her naked & poop smeared bottom! Why I oughtta...

This might I add was only 15 minutes after "The Flour Incident".


Grrrrrrr