Wardrobe Wednesday

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Baby J's On The Mic: 15 months old

And then he passed out a little while later in the recycling pile. He often lays where he lands and takes a snooze, silly little boy!

Wardrobe Wednesday

Wardrobe-less Wednesday

Baby J 9.5 months

Baby J is now 9.5 months. He's crawling all over the place. My other two babes didn't start until around the age of 1-this is new for all of us! And he's also waving. This may sound dumb but honestly I didn't know 9 month old babies could wave, that they were capable. He also repeats sounds that you say. If we say "da da da da" he'll say it. He'll also say "ma ma ma ma" and "ba ba ba ba". Tonight I said to him "no no no no" and he said "na na na na". He also does this funny thing where he'll scrunch his upper lip up to his nose and then inhale through his nose and then we'll laugh and it makes him sniff louder and then we'll both laugh together. He's really a cutie, we're lovin him.

I just bought a new baby carrier today so I can keep him close while the other babes play about. I already have a Sleepy Wrap a Hip Hammock and a Snugli. I know, I know! Why the hell did I buy another one?! I wanted something that didn't completley tie the babe to me but instead allowed us both a bit more freedom unlike the Sleepy Wrap (although I plan to use it to carry the other babes on my back or the Huz's back when we're out as a family). The Hip Hammock doesn't necessarily tie the baby to me but it's a carrier that I can't use really at all b/c when Baby J is in it the strap on it digs into my neck and it's not very supportive to my back after even just a few minutes. I've really not used the Snugli too much with any of the kids. I was out with W taking a walk when he was a babe and I almost fell b/c I couldn't see my feet and I felt awkward with it on. The baby carriers I was considering were the Hotsling or the Poppy Pouch (silly ass names I know.) I went to a local store today, Sprout Soup, and tried on a bunch of wraps and slings. I ended up loving the Scootababy Carrier. It's kind of funny b/c I was not at all interested in it but the lady helping me told me it was her favorite so I thought I'd give it a go. I wore that sucker around the store, with Baby J in if for almost an hour! They have awesome things there so of course I had to look around. The Scootababy is incredibly comfortable and I felt that Baby J was totally secure and although I had some slight pain in my hips, I don't recall my back hurting at all! I'm excited to take the kids out and about more now since I found a comfortable carrier that frees me so I can sprint across the room in enough time to save Super N from certain death.

Speaking of Super N... she's almost 2.5. She just ate a pb & j can you tell? What a fun, polite and sassy litte girl! She is talking so much now and asks questions. I just filled out paperwork for her to start preschool next August. She'll go two days a week and I know she'll love it.

Oh my gosh this kid is talking so much now! He is incredibly inquisitive and full of imagination. He really loves preschool and although sometimes he gets sad when I drop him off, b/c he doesn't want me to leave, he seems to recover pretty quickly and jumps right in.
I had a conference with his teacher a few months ago and she mentioned he was an excellent artist. That's my kid! He also doesn't transition well and gets timeout for talking...yeah that's my kid too! It's so cool to see this in him since art is such a love of mine! But more b/c he truly seems happy when he's drawing or playing with playdoh or doing someother craft. He will turn 4 soon, I can't believe it!

My Jeans Feel Looser

So my Gap Curvy's are fittin better this week. I've been trying to figure out why cause I haven't been watching my weight necessarily or what's going in my mouth. There is an absence of fudge around the house since Christmas has been packed up and shipped out but I didn't eat a ton of that high fat (OH MY GOD GIVE ME MORE) goodness over Xmas to justify a drop in weight now.

Standing in the kitchen scarfing down a little bit of noodles for lunch today I realized I kept turning around to see if the little boy was coming around the corner to scream at me in baby babble. I saw a shadow on the floor moving in the dining room so I knew he was lurking. I quickly put the fork down and swallowed my noodles and turned around in just enough time to see him come over the horizon...I mean through the kitchen doorway.

You see Baby J is crawling now which means every time I'm eating he finds me, sits down at my feet and starts bouncing on his butt and screeching at me. His voice becomes louder and louder and I eventually crumble and either give him a tiny piece of what I'm eating or quickly put it away. He of course doesn't like it when I put it away but I found that if I quickly pick him up and whisk him away it is a sufficient distraction. Oh Lord! I thought before he started crawling that I'd only have to worry about keeping the floors clean and keeping little unnecessaries out of his mouth when he was crawling. But little did I know I'd have to share my food with yet another turd! Come On! I thought I'd have at least another few months before he caught on that mommy's got yummies. Shit the jig is up! Well at least I'm slimmin down!

Postpartum Depression

I realized this week that I have Postpartum Depression. Some of the things I've been experiencing are

• Intense anxiety- This seems to come in the form of nightmares and panic attacks. I get so overwhelmed and anxious b/c of the constant screaming and demands on me day to day that I feel like my heart is going to burst b/c it's beating so fast. What accompanies this reaction is an immediate and intense sense of dread or hopelessness.
• Insomnia- Being alert from 9pm until midnight and then waking back up again at/around 4am. This of course leaves me exhausted in the mornings and afternoons.
• Weight gain- I feel so overwhelmed by my emotions and/or circumstances that I'm eating a lot of junky food. It seems at times that tasting the food is the only thing that is enjoyable in life.
• Inability to function- I can function where absolutely necessary- my kids, bills, shopping...but clothes washing, dinner, cleaning house are all done if there is no clean underwear or things are starting to smell (and then sometimes I don't really care-the Hub takes care of it).
• Not enjoying my kids and loving them through play- This is the most painful to admit but it's as if I've had a wall that is preventing me from giving to them in this way.
• Intense anger and sadness
• Morbid thoughts- like giving Baby J up for adoption as one example.
• Withdrawal from relationships

Now that I've realized that I'm struggling with PPD I called my OB and she has prescribed a depression med. As I begin to take it and hopefully experience some change I'll try to update my experience. I'm also going to go talk to a counselor friend next week or the following week.

Also, weds night a friend initiated a chat over tea and she just totally enveloped me with support and love. She asked me questions to try to figure out where I was at and how she could support me. She then came over again last night and we talked some more. I noticed yesterday and even now my interactions with my babes have changed. I'm more relaxed and loving and my anger has dissipated tremendously. Friendship, a supporting heart and ear are a tremendous resource to the depressed person, I see now. I'm grateful.

Baby J 6 Months Old

Don't judge him to harshly but the Hub just informed me recently that he was smitten with Baby J-he wasn't very fond of him before. They had somewhat of a tumultuous relationship until recently, this past weekend, so I'm happy about the new change. I think me nursing Baby J didn't allow the Hub much opportunity to hold Baby J. And when I wasn't nursing Baby J didn't really seem interested in others holding him. But now things are different! Baby J has turned into a more content baby who smiles, chews on his feet and giggles a lot! He loves being held and snuggled by daddy and overall more pleasant babe.
On Sunday we had him on all fours and he moved his back legs forward. We were really surprised! We're assuming he's going to crawl pretty soon...kind of crazy if it comes to fruition. W started crawling a week before he turned 1 and Super N started crawling at 1o or 11 months, I need to look it up.
Life in regards to Baby J is a bit easier and I'm very grateful!

Baby J 5.5 months

Baby J escaped out of his Boppy yesterday while playing. I ran into the kitchen to do something and when I came back I discovered him army crawling backwards on the rug. Apparently he wants to move! The other kids were not like this. Super N was pretty much a lump for 11 months and W just didn't seem interested until around 9 months or so. If I were to guess I think he probably is itching to play with his siblings.
Also, Baby J has decided to finally like his daddy again. He now smiles at daddy and he also will cuddle with daddy and allow him to hold him for an extended period of time. Mommy is thrilled about this turn of events! Oh yes the colic is all gone! And the last few days Baby J has barely spit up-which is wonderful! He's also still nursing and has started eating bananas within the last 3 days, he really loves them.

6 Days Shy of 5 Months

What a squirrelly little monkey!
He's not against others holding him anymore. His sweet smile and laugh remind me to be grateful for my babes. I lub um...they drive me crazy but I lub em.

My Little Preschooler

W starts Preschool next Tuesday. He was supposed to start tomorrow morning but the teacher asked if I would mind he instead start next Tuesday b/c their class has 20 kids and she's afraid if they all come the first day it will be too overwhelming. So W and 9 other students will show up next Tuesday and the other 10 will show up tomorrow.Then his preschool class will officially start with all of his classmates in attendance next Thursday.

I started off the summer unsure if he'd be able to attend school since we were just in the beginning stages of potty training but he's done really well. It wasn't until two weeks ago that I felt confident that he could attend, I'm very grateful. I know he'll love it and I'm very excited for him. I do wonder if I'll cry after I walk him to class and process through what's happening- my baby is starting school and will be there for the next 15 or so years! Life is changing every day and my babes are growing. Super N is talking a lot more now, W is starting school, Baby J is cooing and smiling and kicking and just generally more content. Time moves so fast even though a day feels very long in this season of life.

Baby J 4.5 months

Baby J has taken a turn for the better as of late (possibly the last week but I can't quite remember). He is cooing and squealing a lot and giggling when I tickle him. One thing that makes nursing him at 2am or 4am not completely horrible is that he will give me the biggest smile when I'm changing his diaper.

He seems so sweet to me but others beg to differ. Not sure why but he screams when he's being held by anyone else. I've been told he's a momma's boy, which is a double edge sword honestly, therefore he only wants to be held by me. The Hub did give him a bottle a few times last weekend when I ran off to Ikea for the whole day to buy cabinets and after that he's seemed to warm up to daddy.

The Hub is actually getting a smile out of him at times. It seems his colick is dissappearing (hopefully) and that his spit up is lessening, a plus about this is that I smell less like rotting milk and that I get to enjoy a happier & sillier baby. We're grateful for the changes and are welcoming more happier baby moments.

We shall see if he can warm up to Grandma this weekend. The Hub and I are leaving for Cleveland today for an overnight trip. We are going to see a concert and stay in a lovely hotel room, that I don't have to clean! Grandma was gracious to volunteer her time and energy and watch the kiddos. This means that Baby J is gonna get a bottle for almost 24 hours...I hope it goes okay.

On another note, I think his eyes might just be turning brown. It's difficult to tell from the pic, they kind of come off grey but we'll see soon enough.

Allergic Reaction Aye?!

The "little" allergic reaction that I've been having on my face, chest, neck, back, arms, hands & legs (basically my whole body excluding my feet) was confirmed yesterday by my allergist as Poison Ivy. I can't stop itching. Fortunately the kids can't get it unless they come in contact with the oils from the plant-I think them having it would just about push me over the edge. I guess one plus of being on prednisone is that it "keys you up"...well that's what I've been told by the nurses. So my inability to sleep b/c of itching may not matter. At this point I'm hoping it keys me up b/c I'm feeling a little like the walking dead.

For some reason Baby J has been waking up super early to be fed, I'm so confused. Last night he was up at 3:40am and then again at 6:30 am. He was sleeping so well! I'm not sure what's going on.

Happy Baby It Seems

A happy baby after consuming a whole jar of sweet potatoes! After contemplating for a while whether or not to start Baby J on solids at 6 months or 4 months I chose the latter. Although it seemed his colicky behavior was ending last week it reared its ugly head this past weekend. Also after many weeks of 12 hour nights he's been waking up to nurse betwwen 4-6 am the last few mornings. This to me suggests that perhaps he may be having a growth spurt and wants more grub!

Incorporating solids into his diet & my schedule should be fun. One more thing to try to remember when we go somewhere or just one more thing to try to remember to do while at home. That reminds me, I need to remember to write an update on how W's potty training is going these days.

Momma Had a Baby

I had a baby last week.

I chose to be induced ultimately b/c of the convenience factor. The Hub and I were able to take W and Super N to Gramma and Grampa's on Tuesday night while we prepared to be induced the next morning.

I arrived for my induction at 9am and was started on a pitocin drip at 10:30. My OB, whose office is directly across the street from the hospital, stopped over on her lunch break around noon to break my water. Baby J didn't respond well to this change and so his heart rate dropped pretty fast and he took a while to adjust which worried the nurses and sent them scurrying every which way. But he eventually recovered after they put an oxygen mask on me for 20 minutes or so, had me switching positions every few minutes and they lowered the pitocin dosage.

The labor seemed to drag on and on although one perk was I got to watch HGTV and FoodTV. From 1pm until about 5pm I became increasingly ill and worn out. I hadn't slept for a few days prior and I had a head cold I was recovering from and I hadn't eaten since the night before. The contractions were not awful around 5pm but they were becoming increasingly uncomfortable. I started thinking about whether or not I wanted an epi so that I could sleep since Baby J was taking his sweet time. I then started thinking about Baby J coming out of the Va jay jay and the pain I may experience with that and I realized I wanted an epi at that point. I knew I would be beat after labor and in pain and I knew I'd still have to go home to nurse and spend time with the other kids. I chose to get the epi and try to sleep.

When I chose to get the epi I was progressing very slowly. I had arrived at 2 cm and at 5pm I was only 5cm. The anesthesiologist took 5 attempts at my epi, which btw was worse than the contractions, and then he finally got it in. I had the same problem with my other two kids. After getting the epi in it took effect and although I couldn't feel my legs I could feel the pressure of the contractions and I could feel my feet. After the epi I turned over (well they turned me over) and I fell asleep for about and hour (the Hub said I snored). They checked me, barely changed, and I watched some more tv (Rachael Ray sure has a lot of shows).

At 7:50 the nurses came in (btw one of my nurses names was Beth and my Obgyn's name is Beth so we started to refer to eachother as Nurse Beth, Dr. Beth and Patient Beth) and decided to put me into a "weird" position to see if anything would happen. They flipped me on my right side and bent my right leg up latching my foot into the guard rail. My left leg was put into a stirrup. I looked like I was skipping but I of course was laying down. They checked me again and I was at 6cm. Baby J's heart rate started to go nuts at that point so out came the oxygen mask again. He did adjust relatively quickly though and was fine. I of course felt very comfortable and they kept bringing me warm blankets so I fell asleep.

At 8:30 they came in to check me and the nurse gasped and said "You're at 10! I gotta call the Dr.!". She flipped me over on my other side and told me to breath through the pressure. She got a hold of Dr. Beth who was 20 minutes out and they all told me to "hold him in!". It actually wasn't awful but a bit uncomfortable. I was so excited to meet him that I was just waiting in anticipation!

Dr. Beth got in the room at 8:55 and got situated. She then checked me and said the head was right there, I could see it too thanks to the funhouse mirror and the fry lights that hung from the ceiling. None of us could believe it! So the next contraction they handed me my legs and I pushed. The Dr. yelled for me to stop b/c the cord was around Baby J's head. She lifted the cord and I felt another contraction so she said give me a small push so I gave her one and she delivered him through the cord after 1.5 pushes, he was born at 8:58pm! It was awesome! I was so grateful he was okay. He weighed 7lbs and 10oz and was 21" long. We all figured if they had started to put me in "weird" positions earlier he may have come out sooner.

Baby Girl or Baby Boy?

Here is the first ultrasound for our soon to be third addition. I will find out in 3 weeks whether the baby is a little girl or a little boy. Since my grandpa recently passed and he meant so much to me we felt that we would name our baby after him. So if it's a little boy we'll call him Joseph and we'll call her Josephine if we have a little girl.

Tales of the smiley baby.

I think i have a smiley baby. You know the kind of baby who smiles all the time and loves to crack up. My baby lights up my day, especially when i can get him to crack up at the most basic things. But to him they are the funniest things he's literally ever seen with his 8 month old eyes.

This baby is truly a ham and i swear he'll have you rollin in your seat if you meet him. Just ask his grandma and grandpa or his daddy. I love this little boy and the funny sense of humor that God has given him. I can't wait to have conversations with him to see what kind of things he thinks about. Thanks God for my silly kid!