I lied. The post on my marriage was and is how I truly feel. After thinking about it for a week and talking through it with my husband, I realize I'm not ambarrased by my honest thoughts. I'm not humiliated, I actually feel freer. I'm sick of hiding and lying and pretending that my choices didn't affect me or still aren't affecting me. Fortunately I talked to my husband before I even realized I had posted the journal entry online. And I also alerted him to the fact that I exposed all that was in my head and allowed him to read it.
The last week has been interesting. But like a lot of other couples we are going to attempt to move forward, taking it day by day.
I am truly a different person. When you expose the real thoughts in your heart so openly that have controlled you for so long, to the world (or at least 65 subscribers), you are forced to really think through what you feel and believe. And you are also, I am also, quick to realize I really don't care if you judge me or ridicule me or don't want to be my friend anymore- it is what it is.
That's how I feel now. The raw journal on my blog...it is what it is.
Another Momma's Babe
The 411
- Momma Bear
- I'm a 32 year old woman,college student & momma of 3 little peeps. I'm addicted to chaos, chocolate, coffee & music. I can't function without these things. I enjoy my potager gardening-growing my own food(Potagergardengirl.com)and cooking it. And I like to read although I don't have much time to devote to a shower let alone a good book.
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8 comments:
Life is raw sometimes.
No judgement here, just understanding and compassion. I'm glad you're still blogging. I'll be here...I'm not going anywhere. (((BIG HUGS)))
Nothings changed here Beth. You're still my friend. We ALL have those thoughts and feelings in some way or another...
never saw the journal entry you reference but just wanted to say that it was huge to be able to show hubs your deepest & darkest. hope it allows for some forward movement and healing. honesty isnt always easy.
Bravo sweetie. I'm glad getting it out has helped.
hey, beth, good for you, and good for you for working on it.
did i miss something?
erin you did miss something-a personal journal entry about my marriage accidentally posted on here (and then deleted) by mua. a victim of lack of sleep and other neurosis'.
you all rock thx for the support.
with love.
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